Dear Diary,
Poor Alishtor, I don’t think he was really bad–he was just very sad and confused. He let his pain control him and forgot that it’s possible to love. I guess that’s what happened with the Man in the Red Robes too. I hope I don’t end up like that.
Alishtor caught us in a magic trap that kept us from moving, so that gave us lots of time to talk. I really think I almost got through to him, but he was so blinded by his pain he refused to accept salvation. If at the end of time there are any souls still in Hell I believe it will be because they couldn’t accept entrance into heaven, and not because it wasn’t offered. Though that is terribly sad to think about.
Alishtor was trying to complete the Man in the Red Robes’ mission to eliminate the presence of the gods and merge Heaven, Hell and Earth into a single tortured reality–that just wouldn’t be as bad as Hell. The Man in the Red Robes was doing it because his wife was sent to Hell for sleeping with another man, which I don’t feel like that could be the entire story. Alishtor was doing it because his friend was in Hell for reasons he refused to divulge. They both supposedly tried everything to secure the salvation of their loved ones, but I wish he would have let me pray for them. Whether either of them ever had real faith, it was pretty obvious they didn’t by the time I knew anything about them. You have to believe in the gods before they can help you.
Oh, and apparently the reason Alishtor needed to sacrifice Charlie for his ritual is because Charlie’s master, Gokasan, is the exorcist who stopped the Man in the Red Robes 400 years ago! I guess if you have silver dragon blood in you, you live forever! So Jack’s going to live forever? I don’t even know what to think about that! Forever is a long time.
Alishtor did make a lot of interesting points though. Apparently a type of medicinal fungus has been propagated by spreading on the bodies of zombies! In fact, it’s used in the Medicinal Chocolate that Nova loves so much! I didn’t know any good ever came from the undead. So I guess Alishtor’s right that all things return to nature, and nothing unnatural remains so for long. Of course, my real issue with his merging of the three worlds is that it would be unholy–and that concern remains. Though it’s very interesting that it does seem possible to be unholy without being unnatural! I always thought anything unholy was also unnatural by default.
I guess Jack got tired of listening to Alishtor (and I think Alishtor was getting pretty annoyed with me, deep down I think he knew I was right that what he was doing was wrong and that there was a better way) so Jack shifted into his tiger mode and broke Alishtor’s magic trap. But then before we could fight things got all weird and we were transported to another space!
The scholarly man’s ghost was there, but now his eyes and glasses glowed with whitish purple flames. They’d be kind of pretty, except he definitely fit the unhappy ghost pattern. I guess that’s what happens to people who are slain by the dagger. It’s really a terrible thing! Of course we had to fight him, and his eye lasers were really deadly! Terra and Nova both went down, but Nova was able to revive Terra before going down and I was able to heal everyone with the Hymn of Healing.
Jack defeated the ghost and the ghost’s spectacles were left behind! Apparently they make whoever wears them invisible! Which seems kind of strange for spectacles, but I guess they are ghost spectacles. We went back to reality long enough to confuse Alishtor before we were pulled to another space to face the ghost of the exorcist’s wife.
She was a much stronger fighter, sort of the opposite of when they were alive, and dressed in red malevolence trimmed with gold love–the love was I think the real source of her power, and the malevolence just misdirected it. She had some really nasty daggers and could make them rain out of the sky! She was tough to fight, but everyone ganged up on her and Jack brought her down.
Terra got the glasses–I thought they might be useful since being invisible sounded safe, but it turns out they take a lot of spiritual energy and I already spend more than enough of that on my songs, and my amulet uses some too. So Nova got the ebony and silver daggers the ghost-wife left behind, and orchestrated a little reunion between the glasses and the daggers that seemed nice. Once that was done, Nova ate the daggers and her teeth sort of sparkled after that. I used the Dynamic De Capo Aria to restore everyone’s energy except Jack, since he didn’t need any.
This time we returned to Alishtor’s chamber to fight him. He summoned a bunch of gelatinous scarecrows and plant creatures. They were easy for Jack to kill, and with some effort Charlie beat one too. Then Terra just jumped over all of them to fight Alishtor by herself! Alishtor caught Terra’s wrist and then there was a flash of red light! He transformed into the Man in the Red Robes and knocked Terra out!
I kept everyone alive with the Hymn of Healing while Jack fought the Man in the Red Robes to protect Terra, and Nova and Charlie finished off the last of the minions. Unlike Alishtor, the Man in the Red Robes actually seemed to be as good as Jack! Actually, unlike anything we’ve seen so far, at least since I’ve been with them. The Man in the Red Robes kept making these big whirlwinds of lightning that dealt way more damage than I could possibly heal with the Hymn–in fact he was the one who killed the last two scarecrows. The Lightning had a big area, so I was the only one not getting hit.
Lucky, I guess, there’s no way my Force Field from the amulet could have stopped that. Even Nova couldn’t take that kind of damage and Charlie went down too–only Jack was able to keep fighting and he was badly hurt. Really badly hurt. I thought I’d lost Terra for a moment, but then her life force suddenly re-surged like she was refusing to die. Then Jack’s Sage, Barrister, showed up! He pushed a helix of energy into the ground that sprung up around the Man in the Red Robes and restrained him, giving me time to heal everybody more! Charlie was able to get back to his feet and Jack was looking better again.
The Man in the Red Robes broke out of Barrister’s restraints too soon though, and knocked Charlie back out. Barrister aided my healing efforts with some sort of dragon prayer that seemed much more powerful than my Hymn! Why is the Hymn of Healing so weak? Maester Forte and the priests made it sound like such a big deal that I could sing it, and it wasn’t even as strong then as it is now. Seems to me like there are plenty of people with much more powerful abilities than my Song Magic.
Nova got back up too, but really Jack had been the only one able to even hit the Man in the Red Robes this whole time, and even he was only damaging the robes themselves slightly. But they’d worked the Man back into a corner, and Nova toppled a bookshelf onto him! All his fancy defenses didn’t do as much about a big shelf of heavy tomes falling on him–though he was still up and fighting.
Basically it was still a fight between Jack and the Man in the Red Robes. Then the Man in the Red Robes finally seriously bloodied Jack, it looked like Jack was going to go down and we might lose! But Jack kept standing and responded in kind, finally really damaging the Man in the Red Robes! Nova surged with all her strength to help Jack, and finally got her own powerful bite in–though the Man in the Red Robes still defended against her next attack.
Barrister noticed how much energy I was spending on the Hymn of Healing and so grabbed me by the head and transferred a lot of his own energy into me! It was definitely as powerful as the Dynamic De Capo Aria. I could keep singing a lot longer thanks to that, but my songs still weren’t powerful enough to compensate for the damage the Man in the Red Robes was doing! Then Barrister started cheer-leading and I followed his movements while singing. I managed to get Charlie back on his feet again.
Then the Man in the Red Robes stabbed Jack and Jack fell! The Man in the Red Robes finished Jack off by stabbing him through the neck! If my heart was broken from losing Maester Forte and the priests, and the fight with Alishtor’s gargoyle, this finally shattered all the little pieces that were left into dust. I don’t know how I managed to keep singing the Hymn of Healing, I guess I knew I couldn’t give up yet. Jack had done so much, and if I could keep everyone else alive they might find some way to finish things.
Sure enough, Charlie did charge in to avenge Jack and in that moment seemed as cool as Jack always was. He broke the Man in the Red Robes with his bare hands, reverting him back to Alishtor–who Charlie tossed aside. Everyone was conscious again, I’d managed to save everyone with my song. Everyone except the one who meant the most to me. Charlie and Barrister were so upset at Jack’s death, and it was my fault again because I couldn’t heal him fast enough.
I couldn’t let it end like that. So I poured my life force into the Dynamic De Capo Aria again and tried to give it directly to Jack. Barrister figured out what I was doing and used his dragon prayer again to help and it worked! Jack was back, but still dying. I switched back to the Hymn of Healing and managed to get everyone back to full strength. I think I may have had some energy left, thanks to Barrister, because I didn’t pass out. But I didn’t feel like I had anything left.
Everyone crowded around Jack, they were so happy to have him back. I really wished I could join them, but I didn’t want to get in the way. There’s no way Jack could feel the same way about me that I do about him. After what he’d been through, Charlie and Barrister were the ones he needed to have close to him. Why do I always feel broken after these big fights? Will I ever get used to them? Or will there ever be a point where I can’t break any further? I never even got hit in that whole fight, but I think I hurt worse than I did from that treasure trap.
Soon the entire castle had faded away and we were back outside in a field where Rose drove up to meet us. The energy circle was still where the bad scientist’s lab had been and I managed to crawl back to it, while Nova dug around in the bushes for her treasure chest and golden shield. I think some of Terra’s fur has gotten darker too, she’s got a whole new vitality to her since surviving the Man in the Red Robes’ onslaught–she also seems a little edgier than before.
Apparently Alishtor’s ritual was partially successful in creating breaches where the worlds are merged. Until I figure out what I am supposed to be doing I guess I should try and fix those areas before too many people suffer because of them. I hope that means I get to continue traveling with my new friends. I don’t want to be alone ever again.
The whole carriage ride back to TASK it was hard to really say anything or engage with the others. My only thought, screaming through my head, was how much I loved Jack and I really wanted to tell him, but it didn’t seem like the right time or place–only after he actually died briefly back in the castle now it seemed like there might not be an unlimited amount of time to tell him. Barrister ordered Jack to get one of Dr. Zjavont’s clones when we got back to TASK, but I get the impression Jack feels the same way about those creepy things as I do.
Barrister increased the magic in my throwing ball to be more accurate, and Charlie recommended that I try a drink called a Virgin Strawberry Daiquiri. Rose was really mad. I love strawberries, so if there’s no alcohol that could be really good. Barrister promised Nova a swimming pool of chocolate when we got back to TASK, and invited all of us to join TASK. They even have a Sage researching Song Magic, who might be my best chance at figuring out my destiny. Though I don’t want obligations to TASK to get in the way of my responsibilities as the Songstress–even if I don’t really understand what those are. I HAVE to do something to make Maester Forte and the priests’ sacrifice on my behalf worthwhile!
I gave the damaged book and scrolls to Barrister, who was able to repair them! Well, the first page anyway–and I think he’ll get through to the others. It has all kinds of fascinating information on the gods that has been lost to the world since the Man in the Red Robes’ ill-conceived initial attempt to merge the worlds! I think Barrister will be able to restore the rest in time too.
Also Nova, Terra and I all seem to have ghostly armor now! Barrister was able to make it appear and says we all have special powers–and I don’t think he was talking about my Song Magic, even though I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing even remotely special about me. Anyway we all decided to join TASK, with Nova and Terra haggling for food as their main condition for accepting the offer. I hope I get to learn new songs and what to do with them.
TASK Headquarters is an amazing five story building! I’ve never seen anything like it, though it sort of reminds me of a magic library! I followed Jack around after we got to TASK and eventually managed to catch him alone. I hugged him and told him I didn’t want him to die again, and he patted me on the head like some sort of kid or animal.
I told him that I loved him–which felt good at first, but then I kept talking, and Jack didn’t say anything, and I couldn’t look at him and finally I had to run away. I wish I wasn’t such a coward, but someone as amazing as Jack, there’s no way he could ever love me back. I’m just a singing doll. As long as I can heal people with my songs, that’s really the only thing I’m good for. I can’t help wishing that I could just be me, be a real person, follow my wishes.
But I know that’s terrible and selfish of me. I have a special power, and even if it doesn’t seem that great compared to what other people, or even just magic chocolate, can do–mine comes with a responsibility. I won’t shirk my duty, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned since leaving the temple, it’s that pain comes and goes. It’s like the waves Maester Forte told me water makes on the sea, always changing, always coming and going. I wish I could have seen the sea with Maester Forte, he made it sound so beautiful and peaceful. I’ll get there someday, and I’ll sing a song for Maester Forte.
For now I have to pray for Alishtor, Alishtor’s friend, the Man in the Red Robes, and the Man in the Red Robes’ wife, and all the people they hurt too. I pray that they can find peace and accept and be accepted into Heaven. It’s not exactly what the priests taught, but I really believe with all my heart that Heaven was meant for everyone–and Hell is only for the people who aren’t ready to accept Heaven, something they inflict on themselves but can rise above.
-M
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